Would you take a brand-new car if it were offered to you — for free? Uh, does a bear use Charmin in the woods? Incredibly, though, when asked recently by The Nikkei, Japan’s top business daily, if they’d want a free new car, many twenty-something Japanese responded, “No, arigato.”

You might wear Corvette ZR-1 boxer briefs, you might devour every issue of Motor Trend from cover to cover, but in Japan it’s an epidemic: Young people are losing interest in automobiles. Since 1990, yearly new-car sales have fallen from 7.8 million units to 5.4 million in 2007, according to the Japan Automobile Manufacturers Association. And while Toyota may be poised to become the number-one King Kong of automakers worldwide, in Japan the automaker is struggling. Sales in 2007 dropped 4 percent from 2006.

Cool new cell phones and laptop computers — those are the new status items young Japanese are spending their money on, Toyota officials say. Youngsters aren’t interested in saving up for new cars, particularly when rapid transit is cheap and readily available, car taxes and prices for parking and gasoline are sky-high, and many of Japan’s roads are clogged into near-uselessness.

To help stem the hemorrhaging, Toyota has developed a new indoor shopping mall in Yokohama that, in addition to clothing stores and eateries, features prominent displays of Toyota models throughout (even the shopping carts are shaped like cars). For its part, Nissan has founded a recording company for popular bands to produce Nissan-themed songs and TV ad jingles. Traditional TV advertising? Young Japanese couldn’t care less.

Maybe Apple should market an iPod with four wheels and two seats?

DETROIT - The Specialty Equipment Market Association (SEMA) won’t like this, but I’ve never been a big fan of aftermarket accessories. At least, not on my own cars. I find them highly amusing on other people’s rides, though. Chrysler 300 with Bentley grille, landau vinyl roof and wide whites? Funny stuff. Monster truck suspension on a Toyota Tacoma? Highly amusing. Cadillac CTS with a diamond in the back, sunroof top, diggin’ the scene with a gangsta lean? Great eye candy.

So it’s with this appreciation of the aftermarket accessory designer who thinks he/she can do better than the highly trained, highly paid automobile stylist that I bring you the latest road monstrosity, this one from a Metro Detroit Ford dealer: the Flex Woody. Not since the K-car Chrysler LeBaron Town & Country convertible has a pile of lumber-like plastic transformed a new car as much as this.

Details? Can’t say how much for the after treatment — there was no add-on sticker to accompany the Monroney. Truth is, I was a bit worried about what kind of salesman might come outside and try to sell me this thing as I studied the sticker. This much is evident: it’s a base model Ford Flex, with rather snazzy houndstooth cloth seats. MSRP was $29,050, a real stripper save for the fake bark, which I’m sure pushes the crossover into the lower $30s. What with dealers desperate for car sales, you can probably get the sales manager to throw in the “wood” for free. The dealer, Huntington Ford, advertises itself as a “Ford Factory Outlet,” which could apply to any domestic dealer in this area. Most people in these parts walk into local dealers with a pre-determined discount, because they work for Ford, GM or Chrysler, or know someone who does, and there’s no need for haggling.

Anyway, photo credit goes to Frank Markus, who had his camera with him when I spotted this homage to the Golden Age of Country Squiring.

So the questions of the day are, what’s your favorite aftermarket treatment? And, what kind of SEMA treatment would you like to see on a new model?

Whump! Thumbing the start button on the Mercedes-Benz SL63 AMG shifter is like throwing a match into a pool of gasoline. The hand-built 6.2-liter V-8 under the hood doesn’t crank or spool or stutter into life. It’s just suddenly there, all rumbling menace, like Mr. Hyde has just materialized out of a dark doorway in front of you.

I’ve long had a love-hate relationship with SL Benzes, right from the original 1955 300SL Gullwing. Despite the fact it had hair-trigger handling if you drove it hard (depending on gearing, it was good for 160mph, making it the fastest production car in the world at the time) and that you needed to be a limbo-dancer to get in or out of it, the iconic Gullwing is one of the coolest cars of all time. Clark Gable owned one; Ava Gardner crashed one — ’nuff said.

The 1963 230SL was a complete departure from its race-bred predecessor. It had 60 percent the power, and many were sold with automatic transmissions. But the “pagoda roof” SL, so named because of the ridges along either side of the hardtop, is a design classic, hauntingly delicate and totally original. The R107 series SL, which succeeded it 1971, and stayed in production for 18 years, got bigger and more powerful engines, but always seemed a louche boulevardier for ladies who lunched, rather than a proper sports car

I loved the quiet elegance of the fourth generation R129 series SL, designed by the courtly Italian Bruno Sacco. But I hated the way the first generation stability control system dictated how it should be driven. “In a bid to build one of the safest, most sure-footed sports cars in the business, Benz has all but dialed out driver appeal,” I wrote in a road test in 1990. “Microchips and megabytes conspire to ensure you do exactly what the car wants you to do, and no more. To a point the SL is absurdly easy to drive. But beyond that point is no reward; instead it taunts and teases with its smug superiority, daring you to find a *** in its computerized armor.”

I thought about that story for the first time in years as I got back from the Monterey weekend on Monday. I’d just clocked up more than 600 miles in the 2009 SL63 AMG. To my eyes it still has the slightly broken-backed look of the all-new R230 series SL launched in 2001, and the restyled front end that’s the centerpiece of the 2009 model year facelift seems mildly thuggish in polite company. But I can forgive the SL63 AMG those aesthetic flaws, because, oh Lordy, is this thing good to drive.

The SL63 AMG has power everything, heated and cooled seats, and a 10-speaker Harmon/Kardon sound system. You can still mooch around in typically relaxed SL style — top down, wind barely ruffling your hair, Café del Mar grooving in the background. It’s oh-so civilized, except you can hear Mr. Hyde growling softly in the basement the whole time. There’s an edge to this SL — a barely suppressed menace — that has you wondering whether it’s entirely appropriate to take it to the country club.

Mercedes-Benz has learned a thing or two about driver appeal in the past 18 years. The SL63 AMG’s new Speedshift MCT seven speed transmission can be dialed from comfort to sport to sport plus, to full on manual mode via a knob on the center console. The Active Body Control suspension can be switched between comfort and sport modes. The traction control can even be switched off. If you want to go toe-to-toe with Mr. Hyde on your own terms, the car will let you.

My tester was fitted with the $12,500 AMG Performance Package which added 19 inch twin five spoke forged alloy wheels, a limited slip differential, track calibrated Active Body Control suspension, a tweak to the engine management system that allows the car to blow past the regular 155mph limit to 186mph, and the compound braking system with six piston calipers and 15.3-inch rotors up front. Good thing, too, because when you nail the gas, Mr. Hyde comes roaring out of the basement.

Mercedes-Benz claims a 0-60 time of 4.5sec, and it feels every bit that fast. The SL63 AMG launches hard (there is even a race start mode) and lunges at the horizon, Mr. Hyde delivering 518hp at 6800rpm and 465lb-ft of weapons-grade torque at 5200rpm. While the MCT transmission can be a little jerky at low speeds, in full-on manual mode it’s crisp and clean and precise. The dash display turns red to help you time your upshifts, and the management system perfectly matches revs on the downshifts.

AMG cars have always been fast in a straight line. The big surprise with the SL63 is how agile and athletic it feels through the canyons. The steering is meaty and accurate, and the Active Body Control suspension keeps everything crisp and controlled on the change of direction. The monster brakes feel utterly indestructible, and there’s so much torque to punch you out of the turns. Even at barely 40 percent of this car’s potential, Mr. Hyde barely breaking a sweat, the SL63 AMG covers ground at an astonishing rate.

Back in town, you can punch a few buttons, ease back in the driver’s seat, and return to the SL’s trademark serenity. Dr. Jekyll never had it so good.